(Editor’s Note: Most always we are so in love with our grand kids that we overlook many behaviors that may seem a little strange to us, but rudeness is not one of them. Hope you enjoy this article from an experienced mom offering four tips if your teen granddaughter or grandson behave rudely to you or others.)
By Beverly Frank
Do you have a rude teenager? Are you fed up with their attitude and treatment of you and others?
The following are four ways to handle rude teens:
1. Set rules about rudeness. Your first step when handling a rude teen is to be clear about what you expect from them. If they answer you in a flippant tone, you need to stop them and say, “That right there will not be tolerated.” If you find they are consistently rude in manner, then have a sit down with them and give specific examples of rude behavior, and then what you expect instead.
2. Set consequences for rudeness. Once you have made it clear what you will not tolerate in behavior, and what you consider to be “rude” it is time to set some consequences for the action. For example, if your teen constantly says “whatever” to you, you can set a consequence for that behavior. For example, you can take away their cell phone, or ground them from computer use, or use of the car. No matter what consequences you set, they have to be clear, and attached to the behavior that you are unhappy with. Give your teen some incentive to be more polite.
3. Show them respect and kindness. You can’t expect your teen to be polite to you if you do not show them the same courtesy. So, focus on showing them respect and kindness in order to lead by example. You can then use this to point out to your teen the proper way to treat people. For example, if you are a school teacher, and your class is rude, you can let them know that you are not talking on your cell phone while trying to teach, and they should not do so when they are supposed to be learning. The same holds true for things like texting, etc.
4. Try to learn why the teen is being disrespectful. Most people are not going to mistreat, or be rude to someone just for the heck of it. There is usually a reason behind it. If your teen is starting to be rude, you will want to evaluate the reasons. Maybe they are starting to hang out with the wrong crowd. Maybe you got a new job, and are not giving them the attention they desire. Maybe they do not know how to exert their individuality, and they are choosing that method. Maybe they are upset at you for something unrelated, and aren’t sure how to make you see. Do what you can to get to the root of the problem so that you can put a stop to it.