BY MICHELE KAMBOLIS (special to the Vancouver Sun)
I’m a grandmother of two wonderful girls and my heart is breaking because I haven’t seen them in five months. My daughter-in-law refuses to let them see me, and my son is so afraid she may leave him that he goes right along with it. At what point do grandparents have legal rights? It seems abusive to the children to not allow them to see family because of a parent’s mental health problems or selfishness. What do I do?
Furious Nana, North Vancouver
YOUR TWO CENTS
A few things strike me about your question, most importantly your sign-off, “Furious Nana.” Only you can create a
A few things strike me about your question, most importantly your sign-off, “Furious Nana.” Only you can create and control your own anger. ‘Fury’ never has and never will achieve any kind of resolution. Try approaching with kindness instead, and apologies, as needed!
As an elder in the family, you are rightfully concerned about family unity, but one cannot change someone’s attitude with a legal piece of paper. Do you really want the next two generations to have to deal with you on these terms?
Have you carefully considered why they would take this drastic step? Relationships are like two-way streets: if you cross the line there can be a collision. Talk to your son, and ask what you can do now and in the future to rebuild the relationship.