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Paula Spencer-Scott 
By Paula Spencer Scott, senior editor at Caring.com
Too often, the youngest members of the family are ignored when a health crisis or problem strikes. They may ask, “What’s happening?” and be brushed off. Or the answer to “Is Grandpa going to be all right?” is a curt (and not always realistic) “Of course!” Or they may say — and be told — nothing at all. But they’re not oblivious. They love the sick family member as much as anyone, and they deserve some kind of update.
Whatever you do, avoid the impulse to sugarcoat a problem into nonexistence. Kids aren’t dumb. They can see that Grandpa is suddenly using a cane and running short of breath. They notice when Grandma asks the same question 20 times in an hour. And they can see when their parents are full of worry or having hushed conversations.
These tips can make conversations about older generations’ health problems easier.
Do be direct. Explain in a straightforward way that the grandparent had to go to the hospital, had a problem with a body part, or is sick. Use simple language. Don’t pretend nothing’s wrong. Avoid euphemisms like “went on vacation” about a grandparent who is in rehab. Don’t lie and say that someone who has moved to a nursing home will be “back home soon.” Give some sense of the timing (“in the hospital until summer vacation starts”) and scope (“won’t be able to walk any more but can still read to you”).
Tailor your messages to their age level. Do use age-appropriate language. To a preschooler you might explain, “Grandpa had to go to the hospital to get his heart fixed.” A school-age child can understand that “Grandpa had a heart attack — that means something in his heart wasn’t working right — and he had an operation to have it fixed.”
You can help a child understand by framing the issue according to his or her body: “You know how you are so good at remembering things? Grandma is having trouble with the memory part of her brain.”
Reassure about common worries. Kids see themselves as the center of the universe and often interpret everything that happens through this lens. They may worry that Granny doesn’t remember their name because of something they said or did. They also worry about “catching” diseases, so explain the cause if a relative has something like Alzheimer’s, arthritis, or COPD, and let the child know he or she won’t contract it by being in contact with the loved one. “Don’t be afraid — Alzheimer’s isn’t like a cold. You can’t get it from being around someone who has it.”
Take your cues from the child. Depending on both developmental stage and personality, some kids are very curious. They’ll have a million questions about what caused a problem, the treatments, how it feels, and so forth. These questions may be annoying, but don’t shut them down. It’s not rude to be so nosy; they’re interested and trying to figure out how the world works. Be open to answering them as best you can. (Maybe you have a future doctor on your hands!)
Other kids, however, aren’t especially curious about the details. Don’t force them. And don’t assume that disinterest is any reflection on their relationship to the grandparent. They may be feeling overwhelmed and simply need your affection and a sense of normalcy. Everybody’s different.
Paula Spencer Scott is senior editor at Caring.com the leading online destination for caregivers seeking information and support as they care for aging parents, spouses, and other loved ones. Paula is a 2011 MetLife Foundation Journalists in Aging fellow and writes extensively about health and caregiving. Want to get creative with the little ones? See Grandparent Gifts: 10 Easy Gifts Kids Can Make.
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Stephanie Levine By Stephanie Levine, DO, FAAP, Member of the Board of Directors at Keeping Babies Safe.
One of the most common questions I am asked at baby’s first visit is, “How do you feel about pacifiers?”
I tell grandparents and parents that pacifiers can be very useful. There are positive and negative aspects of pacifier use. Firstly, everything with babies is habit. It’s important to be prepared, because at some point usually around two years of age, grandparents and parents will have to be strong and take the pacifier away. We know that prolonged use can lead to certain dental problems.
The truth is babies like to suck, and pacifiers can help soothe a baby. The sucking reflex does not always mean hunger, but it’s encouraged to use them in between feeds or to go to sleep.
I try to discourage parents from constantly reinserting the pacifier while the baby or child is actually asleep. This is so that they do not become so reliant on the pacifier for actual sleeping. This can become a hard habit to break, especially once the child is older. Researchers have proposed an association between pacifier use for sleep and a reduced risk of SIDS. On the other side, the proposed theory is constant sucking while using a pacifier may be associated with more frequent bouts of ear infections.
Finally, grandparents and parents may find that many children will initially, or at some point, find their fingers to soothe themselves. This is also fine and I insure them that most children will not enter college sucking on a blanket!
For other helpful information and more on crib safety and safe sleep environments, visit www.keepingbabiessafe.org.
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Stephanie Levine By Stephanie Levine, DO, FAAP, Member of the Board of Directors at Keeping Babies Safe.
www.keepingbabiessafe.org.
How do you keep your baby safe during the warm and sunny months?
Many parents and grandparents feel they cannot go outside and enjoy this wonderful time of the year with a new baby. You can, here are some easy tips to follow:
First and foremost, we all need to be protected from the sun. Most parents and grandparents believe they cannot use sunscreen on babies, which is simply not true. I do recommend keeping babies in the shade and well covered when possible. If there is some sun exposure, it’s advisable to use any sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or 45, PABA free, which protects against both UVA and UVB rays. Apply a small amount to baby’s skin first to make sure there is no reaction, as babies have very sensitive skin.
It can be fun for parents and grandparents to enjoy playing in the sand and dipping babies in the pool, or ocean. When the fun is done, a nice warm bath is recommended to wipe off any sunscreen, sand, chlorine, and/or salt.
Lastly, in warm weather, it is important to keep babies well hydrated and dressed appropriately. If it is 90 degrees and you are sweating, your baby is hot as well. Parents/grandparents often question what the appropriate temperature in the house should be as well. This is a personal decision. If you have the thermostat set at 68 degrees and you are wearing a sweatshirt in the house, perhaps the baby needs another layer too.
Summertime can be fun for you and your baby. Enjoy!
For other helpful information and more on crib safety and safe sleep environments, visit www.keepingbabiessafe.org.
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Ranny Levy By Ranny Levy – Founder/President Kids First!
“The power of music can break barriers and build a friendship.” This is a beautiful statement by Jailene A., 12-year-old KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, after seeing the animated film “Monster in Paris.” Rated PG for some action violence involving gunplay and mild rude humor, this film is set in the year 1910 in Paris, and the story begins by documenting the flooding of the River Seine that year. With a lovely message, amusing characters and interesting story line, this animated film is perfect for the whole family – from grandparents to grandkids. Available now on DVD.
“A Monster In Paris”
Reviewed by Jailene A.
See Jailene’s full video review here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5l8pXV68Kk
I absolutely love “A Monster in Paris.” The 3-D animation of the film is great and the characters’ personalities engage you and makes you feel as if you are there.
The power of music can break barriers and build a friendship. “A Monster In Paris” is an extraordinary French film, translated in English, about two friends – one, a shy guy interested in film and the other, a very curious, mischievous delivery guy who rumble up lots of trouble after sneaking into a scientist’s house and carelessly unleashing a seven-foot-tall monster in the streets of Paris.
Unlike other animated films, “A Monster in Paris” stands out with its amazing message that we can’t judge a book by its cover and how true friendship doesn’t judge. Lucille loves Francoeur even though he is a gigantic flea. I also like Emile. He is a loving yet, shy guy with a love for cinematography. I like how the animators exaggerate some of the characters’ features and make them stand out and look hilarious. The bartender has a gigantic nose that makes it funny every time he talks. The film has a French feel and Lucille brings it together when she sings beautifully. However, I do not like how the ambitious commissioner mistreats Lucille and stops at nothing to make himself look good.
My favorite character is the professor’s monkey Charles, as he is intelligent and tries to guard the lab from Raoul and Emile from entrance to the professor’s lab and making a mess. He anticipates when something is about to go wrong. He also makes me laugh when he tries to sing.
My favorite scene is when Raoul and Emile are at the professor’s lab testing chemical mixes on Charles and one of the chemicals makes Charles sing like opera singer and then makes Charles feel emotion. The best part is when Raoul puts three drops of chemicals on a sunflower seed and in a matter of seconds the tiny seed grows to a 15-foot-tall giant sunflower. It is the reaction of Charles’ face that really made me laugh.
I recommend “A Monster in Paris” for ages 6-14 because it is very hilarious and family-friendly. I give this film 5 out of 5 stars. This film is available now on DVD.
Ranny Levy – Founder and President
KIDS FIRST! / Coalition for Quality Children’s Media http://www.kidsfirst.org Supporting Quality Media for Children Since 1991
KIDS FIRST! Film Festival
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KIDS FIRST! Travel http://kidsfirst.agenthub.net/
Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Robert Fulghum
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Christine Crosby If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re a GRANDmom, and of course, always a mom. My friend Maria King of Events Cazy, has this advice for cool things to do in your area. Give it a try and you’ll never be at a loss for fun things to do with your grandkids.
Christine Crosby, Editorial Director, GRAND Magazine
By Maria King
It’s Mother’s Day this weekend. It is a time honored tradition to spend the day with our Mother’s to thank them for all that they did and still do, for us. My mom lives with me and I have a feeling that her ideal Mother’s Day might just be if she doesn’t have to spend it with me, lol. I’m joking, we actually get along great.When I was young, our special occasions were steeped in tradition and always followed a familiar line. My dad always made it a point to celebrate Mother’s Day in a big way. He always bought my mom and grandmother corsages and took the rest of us out to a very fancy restaurant to eat. When I think about it, dads were somewhat limited in their ability to find exciting and different ways to entertain their families. That was always something mom did back then when the gender roles were more defined. However in dad’s defense, options were somewhat limited as well. You had restaurants (which moms back then loved), baseball games (which moms back then hated) and going to the park. (which kids loved and both moms and dads hated).
With the blurring of the gender roles, Dads today are more hands on then ever before. In many cases they are as in-tuned with their families as moms; in some cases even more. And moms are far more involved with things outside the home then ever before. However as far as I know, most mom’s still like restaurants, I know I do. (no cracks please) But moms look at sports differently now then at the time when I was a kid. Today’s Mom’s have grown up liking sports, playing sports and rooting on their favorite sports teams. And so many other options abound for entertainment activities for families besides the park.
That’s where we come in. That’s one of the reasons that we exist. This week I have included some wonderful events for you to consider as possible choices for mom. They may not be geographically possible for everyone, but my job is to float some suggestions about what kinds of events are taking place all over. To find ones similar to these or discover some new ideas in your own area, use the search box above. And don’t forget to receive a free weekly email of events in your area, click on the link to sign up. Please be sure to treat mom to a wonderful Mother’s Day by going to someplace special to spend quality time and create new memories. Happy Mother’s day to all of those special people out there known as MOM!
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Dennis Miller
By Dennis Miller
Go into any fast food restaurant or retail store and you’ll find a lot of seniors working for minimum wage. Here’s why.
When personal computers hit the scene, numerous retirement-planning programs quickly became available. You entered your personal financial information, along with yield and inflation projections, and the computer would tell you how long your retirement nest egg would last.
The first time I ran the numbers, my computer told me I had enough money to retire as long as I died before I was 72 (I’m currently 73). That’s when my wife and I got serious about saving for retirement.
For years, financial planners considered four basic numbers to be conservative estimates:
- Return on your portfolio: 6%.
- Inflation: 2%.
- Age your money needs to last to: 120 years old.
- Percentage of your portfolio to invest outside of CDs and high-quality bonds: 100 minus your age at retirement.
The final number on the list was part of a conservative investment formula. If you retired at age 65, then 65% of your nest egg went into CDs and high-quality bonds, with a 6% locked-in return. The other 35% went into the market. I can confirm that the formula worked well for my first few years of retirement.
To keep the math simple, imagine a couple with a $1 million portfolio and $20,000 in combined annual Social Security payments. A 6% return on their entire portfolio ($60,000), combined with Social Security, gave them $80,000 to live on every year.
These numbers no longer apply. The best CD rate I can find these days is 1.2%. And while the Bureau of Labor Statistics is reporting a 1.7% inflation rate, I’m confident that the 1990-based alternate rate reported by Shadow Government Statistics — just under 6% — is much more accurate. In a recent unscientific poll of Miller’s Money Weekly readers, we found the weighted average inflation rate reported by readers was just over 8%; whether it’s 6% or 8% it’s still nowhere near the government’s 1.7%.
Let’s revisit the imaginary couple with a $1 million portfolio. If they put 65% of their portfolio in CDs earning 1.2%, that gives them $7,800. Even if the remaining 35% of their portfolio earns a 6% yield in the market ($21,000), combined with their $20,000 in Social Security, that’s only $48,800 every year. That’s quite a downward adjustment in their standard of living. And at the same time, inflation is driving prices up, which only amplifies the problem.
So what is a grandparent to do?
There is no one, simple answer. First, we cannot ignore the problem. While there is no shame in a hard day’s work, no retiree wants to spend his golden years stocking Cheerios at Walmart. No matter what your first profession was, you need to become your own amateur financial guru.
Second, we all have to put a much higher percentage of our life savings in riskier investments to compensate for low interest rates. Many seniors are also looking to reverse mortgages and annuities for some relief. While neither of these are a sure fix for all of your financial woes, they are partial solutions for some retirees. We’ve covered both of these in-depth in recent issues of Money Forever.
Third, many seniors are scaling back even more than they already have. Cutting your living expenses and shifting your expectations about retirement can be emotionally difficult. If you were the household breadwinner, this can be particularly draining. While some common sense adjustments are easy, like swapping a $4 latte for a regular cup of Joe, others are more taxing. No one wants things to get so bad that they must give up traveling to see their grandkids.
And when none of these changes are enough, many seniors continue to work longer than planned. I recently read that:
In May 2012, the Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies released its 13th annual retirement survey. A survey of over 3,600 workers showed that 56% plan to work after age 65, and 54% indicated they would continue working after they retire. The lead paragraph of the news release states, “American workers, shaken by the realities of the Great Recession, have adjusted their visions of retirement…” That report may be about a year old, but I doubt seriously the numbers have changed much.
The simple, mathematical retirement formula of yesteryear is long gone. Would-be retirees are chasing a moving target. Investors must be prudent, conservative, and still find investments that yield enough to adequately supplement their Social Security checks.
The only conservative number that survived the old regime is “120 years old.” If you run out of money at 119, don’t worry about it; you will be the envy of all your peers.
We’ve put together a monthly income plan to supplement Social Security checks and pension payments (if you’re one of the lucky few to have a pension). The plan calls for making certain investments at certain times of the year to ensure you’ve got steady income each and every month. And the beauty of it is that you’re guaranteed payments every month. Click here to find out more about this plan used by me and thousands of my readers.
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Jack Levine By Jack Levine
Most of us are very conscious about making healthy choices when it comes to mealtime. However, we don’t consider how something as tiny as a honey bee can make a difference in the quality of our food. The connection is so strong that the United States Department of Agriculture and the Environmental Protection Agency released a joint report on honey bee health. The goal is to protect the honey bee population.
 Charlotte Levine of Tallahassee, FL tending her hive
Keeping the bee population healthy will have a direct impact on the quality of our food. “There is an important link between the health of American agriculture and the health of our honey bees for our country’s long term agricultural productivity,” said Agriculture Deputy Secretary Kathleen Merrigan. “The forces impacting honey bee health are complex and USDA, our research partners, and key stakeholders will be engaged in addressing this challenge.”
What does this mean to us? According to information released by the government, an estimated one-third of all food and beverages are made possible by pollination, mainly by honey bees. In the United States, pollination contributes to crop production worth $20-30 billion in agricultural production annually. A decline in managed bee colonies puts great pressure on the sectors of agriculture reliant on commercial pollination services.
According to the Acting EPA Administrator, Bob Perciasepe, “The decline in honey bee health is a complex problem caused by a combination of stressors, and at EPA we are committed to continuing our work with USDA, researchers, beekeepers, growers and the public to address this challenge.”
Earth Angels United, the nonprofit organization working with GRANDparents America Expo-Orlando has been a longtime supporter of pure raw honey and bee health. If you would like to order honey call 407.263.7865. Fresh local honey will be available at the GRANDparents America Expo on September 7th at the Orlando Cultural Park in Orlando.
Jack Levine, the founder of 4Generations Institute and Partnership Director for GRAND Magazine, the digital publication for grandparents and their families, is an advocate for local food production and honey bee health. He and his wife, Charlotte, manage one bee hive in their back yard in Tallahassee to help pollinate their organic garden.
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