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Do The Clouds of Depression Feel Too Dark?

Ruth was almost two when her new baby sister was born.  She nick-named her Baby Honey. During a particular car ride, both girls were sitting side by side, strapped in their car seats. Carolyn (Baby Honey) was fussy.   We tried giving her a bottle, a pacifier, a blanket and a toy. Nothing helped. Soon her cries grew more and more intense. Suddenly, Ruth leaned over and got face to face with Carolyn, and yelled, “Baby Honey – Be Happy!”

I wish it was always that easy.  Sometimes, it is.  Sometimes, I can go for a walk or sing a few old love songs or eat something, and the crabby feelings fade and I can BE HAPPY. But, I’ve been through a few times when the cloud was too dark and the pit felt too deep.

I am a fixer. When problems in my life seem out of my control, I ask God to fix things:  fix my life, my kids, my finances, my husband.  But, I don’t think God fixes. He restores. There’s a difference.  Fixing can be done with duck-tape and super glue.  Restoring takes time, patience and skill as it brings things back to when they were like new.

Look at the difference:

The definition of FIX:  to put in good condition; to make fast, firm, or stable.
The definition of RESTORE:  to bring back into existence; to bring back to a former, original, or normal condition; to bring back to a state of health, soundness, or vigor.

Psalm 23:3 says, “He Restores My Soul”

When darkness of depression surrounds me, I can certainly help by doing positive things: get enough sleep, exercise, listen to music, pray, read, take my vitamins and eat healthy. I can resist the desire to seclude myself. That’s opposite of what I need. Holding things in and keeping my feelings to myself keeps things in the dark. Talking with someone about it shines a light on the darkness and starts the healing. It also lets another person tell me things I might not see myself. A good friend will challenge my thinking or encourage me to deal with an unresolved issue or get help from a professional.

What I’ve noticed most of all is that because of being absorbed in my problems or living in the pressure of doing it all right, I didn’t notice that God was trying to get my attention..to tell me that He loves me.

I need God to restore my soul. This isn’t a pat answer or a band aide. This is a deeper healing I can’t DO myself. There have been times when all I could pray was, “God, please give me hope.” When I’m asking, “Where is the path?”, “Where am I?”, “Where are You?’ …..God reminds me,”I AM the path…follow Me.”  Surrender happens. My perspective changes. Thankfulness begins.

Let God restore your soul.  And Baby Honey….be happy!
Sue is the author of

Books available at:  www.grandma-sue.com

Christine Crosby

About the author

Christine is the co-founder and editorial director for GRAND Magazine. She is the grandmother of five and great-grandmom (aka Grandmere) to one. She makes her home in St. Petersburg, Florida.

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