Carolyn ran in the house, threw open the refrigerator and grabbed the gallon of milk. She was thirsty! Quickly she poured – what looked like – curdled milk into her glass. “Carolyn, wait!” her dad said. Too late! Carolyn had gulped down a big swallow. “Carolyn, I think that milk is spoiled. It looks chunky,” her dad warned. Shaking her head, Carolyn pinched her nose shut with one hand, raised the glass of milk to her lips with the other and said, “It’s okay….it just smells bad.”
Carolyn was in denial! The milk wasn’t good, but for some reason she was willing to keep drinking. Are you guilty of this? Do you keep doing something that isn’t working and then excuse it or minimize it when questioned?
- Do you put up walls to keep yourself safe, but end up feeling lonely?
- Do you avoid conflict at all cost, and end up an exhausted people pleaser?
- Do you push to get your life to turn out a certain way in order to feel valued, but just end up angry each time things don’t go YOUR WAY.
Doing the same behavior over and over can feel ‘normal’ until someone says, “Hey, wait! Why are you doing that?” or “Why are you so afraid of conflict?” or “Why do you keep people at a distance?”
Is your first reaction defensiveness? Just like Carolyn, it might seem easier to shake your head and pinch your nose shut and keep taking sips of your sour milk. It feels less vulnerable to quickly respond, “It’s okay….it’s not so bad.” Don’t let your first reaction stop you. Be willing to think about the questions. If you’re willing – you will be open to change – and change can smell pretty sweet.
Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.“
We need each other. We need to ask each other tough questions. We need to be willing to listen to each other.
Do you let people question you? Can people tell you what they think? Who do you let in?
Sue is the author of
Books available at: www.grandma-sue.com
