Grandparents Raising Grandchildren By Chloe JonPaul
New census data reveals that 4.9 M children under the age of 18 live in grandparent-headed households. If you are one of those grandparents, you may want to consider these tips as part of your action plan to promote good behavior and cooperation with your grandchild.
When a child/teen-ager misbehaves, try saying: ”I’m not angry ` a bit disappointed, maybe because your behavior right now just isn’t matching the good person inside you. I know that good person is in there and I want to see him/her come out again.”
At the dinner table, try starting a conversation by going around the table to everyone and ask: “What was the best part of your day?”
If you receive a call form a teacher or school administrator about your grandchild’s misbehavior in the classroom, respond with “I’d like to be part of the solution and not the problem. Tell me what you need and let’s see what we can work out to everyone’s satisfaction”.
Schedule a periodic family conference to review ground rules. For example, you can turn clean-up times and homework into a game by playing Beat the Clock. Set the kitchen timer for an hour and if the child completes the task satisfactorily before the timer goes off, you can offer a small reward. Believe it or not, my kids earned their TV time this way.
Creative Problem-solving Strategies
When a child makes a mistake, the best thing you can say is ”That was a perfect mistake for learning something new! Now tell me what you would do differently in the future.”
Check out Creative Problem-solving for Kids by Diane Draze. She says that “students who learn the principles of CPS develop a sense of control in their lives derived from their ability to deal with situations creatively.”
Another excellent source is the interview done with therapist Sherry Lewis by Jaleh on the Yahoo contributor Network. voices.yahoo.com/teaching-problem-solving-skills-child-7761530.html.
Her A-B-C-D model is a must-read!
Children need to be led gently but firmly in approaching the challenges they will face in life, and you as that child’s grandparent can leave a wonderful legacy using these tools.
Her many achievements include:
* Four published books since 2003: 2 non-fiction, 1 fiction,1 children’s
* Title of Ms. Maryland Senior America 2003
* Recipient of the Fulbright Fellowship Seminars Abroad award to South
* Volunteer internship during the 2005 Maryland legislative session as a Legacy Leadership Institute graduate
* Lead facilitator for the Alternatives to Violence Project in prison and
community workshops on conflict resolution for ten years
* Former State representative for the National Family Caregivers
Association’s caregiver community action network 2006-2008
* FormerAdvisory board member: MD, Healthcare Commission and the Interagency Commission for Aging Services: Maryland Dept. of Aging
* Hospice volunteer: AIDS patients & veterans
* Volunteer for Warm Nights homeless shelter
* Coordinator for the Good Samaritan Project at her church
* World traveler – all 7 continents.
Chloe’s philosophy of life is: Find a need and fill it.
What Happens Next? A Family Guide to Nursing Home Visits…and More
Entering the Age of Elegance: A Rite of Passage & Practical Guide for the Modern Maturing Woman
This Business of Children Fiction
The Girl Who Did Not Like Her Name children’s book
Chloe is featured in Don McCauley’s book, Fifty Great Writers You Should Be Reading.