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Redate your mate

Posted on October 30, 2014 by Christine Crosby in Holidays, Re-date your mate, romance, Shela Dean

Re-Date Your Mate This Holiday Season

My Scarf Drawer Runneth Over 

Love and marriageBY SHELA DEAN author of Re-Date Your Mate

If it weren’t for scarves, my husband wouldn’t know what to buy. He chooses lovely ones, but I have so many they’re spilling out of the designated drawer into neighboring drawers. Plus, I’m not big on using joint funds to pay for a gift for my husband—it’s like he’s always paying half for his own gifts. So, clever couple that we are, we decided to stop exchanging “you and me” gifts and began a tradition of “us” gifts.

Think romance!

For Christmas that year, we bought bicycles and headed for a Lake Tahoe cabin. We rousted out in darkness one morning and pedaled to an isolated spot to watch the sun rise. Once we found the perfect spot, we cuddled together, sipping hot chocolate from a thermos to ward off the chill, and felt so warm and snuggly, we kissed as the sun rose. That was years ago, but we were just talking about it days ago. We will never forget, or stop reliving, our first romantic bicycling junket.

Think adventure!

Neither my husband nor I are big drinkers, but one year—just for the fun of it—we bought a martini shaker, glasses, and a martini recipe book and enjoyed a year-long adventure working our way from Appletini to Wasabi Martini. To this day, using the shaker triggers the memory of dinner parties when we and our guests sampled the next martini in the alphabet.

Sneak out of town!

Sometimes it’s great just to get out of town for the holidays—a weekend trip to a local B & B, a camping trip, or a splurge, we’ve done them all. One of our most romantic jaunts took place in a tent in the Arctic Circle. Believe me, nothing is more intimate than feeling as though you’re the only two people on earth.

We spent one New Year’s Eve on a ferry traveling down the coast of Chile to Patagonia. At midnight, we enjoyed fireworks courtesy of the ship’s crew, then snuggled in our cabin and celebrated in the best way possible. We relive that memory every New Year’s Eve.

Party at home alone!

No money: Have a black-tie dinner for two—consider wearing only black ties. Write a love poem together or, well, use your imaginations to choose an “us” gift that will create a new memory—because memories, not shirts and scarves, are the glue that binds a couple.

Click on links below for Ideas for Holiday Adventures!


redate your mateVisit the Leiden American Pilgrim Museum in Holland:


Visit the elderly who are alone on the holidayhttps://littlebrothers.org/redate your mate


cookiesCrank up the carols, pour the eggnog, and bake Christmas cookies together to drop off at places where someone’s working (animal shelter, police, firefighters, hospitals). Be sure to wear your Santa hats!


Rockefeller CenterCelebrate at Rockefeller Center



Play the Dreidel Game for romantic or sexy favors.



Visit the National Museum of African American Culture (https://nmaahc.si.edu/) and dine on Ethiopian food (https://www.eteterestaurant.com/)
Take a jazz cruise down the Mississippi Riverhttps://www.steamboatnatchez.com/

New Year’s

Take a dinner cruise, e.g., San Francisco New Year’s Eve Dinner Cruise

Celebrate New Year’s Eve AND contribute to charity:


Christine Crosby

About the author

Christine is the co-founder and editorial director for GRAND Magazine. She is the grandmother of five and great-grandmom (aka Grandmere) to one. She makes her home in St. Petersburg, Florida.

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