Aging And Living In The Golden Age Of Extenders

Aging

By Richard J. Anthony, Sr.

Have you noticed? We’re living in the Golden Age of Extenders.  Those assistive devices that enable us to put on our shoes without bending, reach high places beyond our grasp, scratch our backs without contortions, gain inches in our shirt collars and waist bands.  Even improve bathroom hygiene.  Amazing stuff conceived by geniuses who have a gift for identifying needs we didn’t know we had until told that their inventions will improve the quality of our lives considerably for just a few dollars plus shipping and handling.

Here’s a sample of what’s available in a barrage of catalogues that make up the bulk of our mail these days:

  • Waist extender adds up to 5” to the waistbands of jeans, pants, skirts.Aging
  • Easy buttons and hooks that give you extra room in the mid-section.
  • Ergonomic gripper easily grabs objects without your having to bend, climb or strain.
  • European style sauna brush reaches 2 feet.
  • New extra-long shoehorn…eliminates the need for bending.
  • Maximize your distance from the litter box with our nifty long-Aginghandled scoop.
  • Personal hygiene refresher makes it easy to feel fresh and clean…easy-to use hand bidet and washmate provides gentle and thorough cleaning and rinsing.
  • Breast enhancers increase bust 1.5-2 full bra cup sizes.

These are all real products, with full color pictures to prove.  Not sure where they are made, but it’s a safe bet it’s not here in the USA in most cases.  Sometimes they come with instructions, especially if they require assembly.  Personally, I don’t like reading instructions and diagrams. It’s much more fun to figure things out for yourself.  Besides, the instructions aren’t well written.

I have a few favorites. Couldn’t live without the extra-long shoehorn that hangs in my closet. Perfect for people who have chronic back pain or sciatica.  I also have an extra button extender for my shirt collar, which seems to get smaller every time it returns from the laundry. Must be the detergents they’re using these days. The new skylights we had installed three years ago came with long poles with hooks to crank them open.  I’ve misplaced the poles.

My wife keeps the ergonomic gripper handy in the kitchen and uses it in other places around the house when what she wants is beyond her reach.  We don’t have pets, but the long-handled scooper seems like a good idea.

We’re still agile enough not to need the personal hygiene refresher, but it’s reassuring to know there’s a 15” extender available for just $12.98 plus shipping and handling.

AgingAbout the author:  Richard J. Anthony, Sr. is Managing Director of The Anthony Group, Inc. www.theanthonygroupinc.com.

Please respond to this post here: r.anthonysr1@verizon.net 

Richard (Rick) is the author of Organizations, People & Effective Communications. He is also the founder of The Entrepreneurs Network, host of The Entrepreneurs Network TV and host of The Entrepreneurs Network Radio

 

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