Shared with GRAND by Michele Techman
Check out the list below to see if you may be turning into your mother.
No matter how amazing our mothers are, there is something unsettling when you start acting/looking and behaving like them. And, as with most makeovers, it is not an overnight transformation. It starts with something simple, like calling your son by his sister’s name or saying, “I’ll turn this car around.” You eventually pick up more peculiar mannerisms and take on some of her personality traits, both the good and the bad, until you just admit it….you are turning into your mother. The worst part — it can start as early as your 20s! Not sure if your transformation has begun? Check out some of the telltale signs.
- You don’t understand the newest social media trend
- You insist on feeding every person who steps into your home
- You not only love using coupons but organizing them too!
- You don’t recognize any of the celebrities on magazine covers
- You refuse to go anywhere college kids hang out
- You remind people to grab a jacket before leaving the house
- Your kids call your choice in music, movies, and TV shows
- You become a bit more judgmental.”lame.”
- You say, “Because I said so.”
“There were plenty of times I thought my mother was a huge bitch. Now that I’m a mom, I see that sometimes, “mom” and “bitch” are necessarily synonymous. I will hear myself yell at my kids and experience an invasion-of-the-body-snatchers moment. I NEVER thought I would lose my cool over silly matters (i.e. when my son whines and carries on when I won’t buy him candy at the grocery market). But then there I am in the aisles of A & P, snapping like a pissed-off turtle.”
Psychologist Roni Cohen-Sandler, author of I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict, says “this is an extremely common theme among the women I speak with. It’s practically universal — both to catch ourselves being ‘just like’ our mothers — and to recoil at the thought.” She thinks we may find ourselves adopting our mothers’ most annoying habits because “things that have always bothered us about our mothers are tendencies that we saw in ourselves all along.” Of course both nature and nurture play a role too, and Fontaine posits a neurological explanation as well — “the things that annoy us, we tend to fixate on more. We spend more time thinking about them. And the more we think about something, the deeper the neurological pathway is, and the easier it is to kind of slip into.”