Reconnect with your sexy side
BY WALKER THORNTON
Aging is challenging, especially for women. Our society worships youth and views old and aging as negative words. When we don’t see ourselves reflected in the wider culture it’s hard to gauge what’s possible as we go through the aging process, particularly when it comes to sex and intimacy.
Women in their menopausal years often talk about losing sexual desire. At any age, or stage of life, there will be times when sexual feelings shift. For older women that loss of feeling intensifies when we hear negative stories about menopause. Couple that with the idea that sex is for the young, and if you don’t have
For older women that loss of feeling intensifies when we hear negative stories about menopause. Couple that with the idea that sex is for the young, and if you don’t have desire you must have an illness, and it’s no wonder some women start to anticipate a less than sexy future.
Paying attention to my sexuality requires me to love the body I have.
To connect with one’s own sexual desire is a personal process. It starts with you—your thought processes, your senses, and your willingness to connect with your body.
In my own journey, I’ve discovered that paying attention to my sexuality requires me to love the body I have. Then I can create the kind of experiences I want; accept everything aging brings with it, and figure out how I want to show up in the world. I’ve developed comfort in my own skin, allowing me to enjoy life more fully. One of the ways to do this is to ask for what you need when it comes to sex and to pay attention to what your body desires.
I wrote the book Inviting Desire to help women learn to embrace their sexuality and take ownership of their sexual desire. All women can benefit from exploring the connection of aging, sexual health, and communication, whether they’re single or in a relationship. Women should understand how their bodies work, figure out what they want sexually, and know how to ask for it. Woven through my work with older women is the understanding that being “of a certain age” isn’t limiting—discovering the joys of sex and intimacy as we age is very freeing.
About the Author
Walker Thornton is an educator, public speaker and the author of Inviting Desire, A Guide for Women Who Want to Enhance Their Sex Life. She advocates for women’s sexuality, encouraging women to ‘step into their desire’. Walker is the Sexual Health columnist for Midlife Boulevard and writes about sex and the older adult for Kinkly.com and other sites. You can connect with her on her website www.walkerthornton.com, Facebook Twitter and Google+.