BY PAT HANSON
Does the renewal of friendly relations seem impossible in your family? Do you think your estranged daughter and/or son-in-law with their complicated psychological problems will never change? Change your thinking and you might change your life. Reunion can and does happen, but not as swiftly as one might like. Keep these things in mind while waiting for ‘divine destiny’ to occur.
Hope is something you carry in your own heart that no one can take away from you.
- Gather support from a counselor, clergy or devoted friend.
- Tune into psychologist Joshua Coleman’s free Q & A and his extremely instructive webinars on everything from personality disorders to changing your will.
- Be grateful for all the good you do have.
- Keep your expectations low, think in possibilities, and you may be surprised.
- Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, Inc. the flagship non-profit for estranged grandparents, now reports over 140 success stories from members of 100 registered support groups in 50 states and 19 countries. The tenacity of a grandparent can be an indicator of success. Here are success stories from AGA-fl.org.
“We are not sure what happened, but our daughter invited us to dinner at her home. We thought it would be more difficult than it was. We had agreed that no issues would be addressed. While numerous questions went unanswered everyone behaved as though nothing had happened. Most of our visit was spent with the grandchildren sharing many photos and stories of their extended family members. We’ll see what follows. Clearly, baby steps are in order.”
“After trying for two years, having texted, emailed, and sent gifts with no response, I finally got to see my daughter, son-in-law (SIL) and grandchildren. I decided to take a trip and show up at their door. My SIL welcomed us into their house. We got together several more times that week. My daughter behaved as though nothing had ever happened. I didn’t say a word about it either.”
“But she was right. Not giving up is so important.”
“After five years, my grandson visited with us. Details about how it happened are scarce, because his other grandparents arranged it all. We heard that our grandson demanded “I want to see my other grandpa and granny.” The first time we talked on the phone to Amanda of AGA, she said. “He will contact you again one day.” I didn’t believe it at first. But she was right. Not giving up is so important.”
“Oh, my daughter called me! I couldn’t believe it. It’s been over six years. I had just left a voicemail telling her that I love her and will always be there for her. Her message said, “Thanks for reaching out to me, Mom. I love you, too.”
“Hope is something you carry in your own heart that no one can take away from you. You can’t change or fix things sometimes, but hope gives me a lifeline. This is why we need AGA, it gives us hope and thinking of possibilities so we don’t despair.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Hanson is a seasoned health educator, public speaker, and workshop facilitator. She is the author ofInvisible Grandparenting: Leave A Legacy Of Love Whether You Can Be There or Not. She lectures nationally on Aging Positively and is a columnist for the magazine:Crone: Women Coming of Age