How To Wear Out a Grandparent: 10 Easy Steps For Success
By Nicole Merritt
Grandparents — they are like parents, “but with more sleep, fewer rules, and an endless supply of cookies” (Anonymous).
This is so on point. Grandparents don’t chastise you for acting goofy, and they don’t scold you for getting into little bits of mischief here and there. Grandparents don’t care if you are eating too much sugar, and they sure don’t pressure you to be perfect.
But you know what, guys? There is more that they don’t do! They don’t easily wear out! Nope, definitely not as easy as you would think. But, we are going to fix that. Why should we fix something that isn’t broken? Well, I will tell you.
Kids love their parents, right? And, how do children express their immense love for their parents? By wearing them out! So, when you think about it, those dear grandparents are so deserving of some wearing out too.
And alas, I think I know how we can wear them out in 10 simple steps, so here we go kids, try these out with your grandparents:
- Keep telling them you want kisses. The whole time that you are at their house, keep asking for kisses. You will without fail tire their lips and cheeks. Even grandma’s lips can only pucker up so many times before she begins to worry about smudging her perfectly applied lipstick.
- Don’t stop eating all of their food. Grandparents love to feed their grandkids. But, you will really surprise them if your appetite matches that of a whale. They will also likely start to have a sense of concern regarding your consumption of their expensive weekly groceries.
- Run around their house.Just keep running and running and running and running. And, if you can almost crash into their china or perfectly lined up glass-framed pictures a few times, that would be good.
- Try to explain Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter to them. Go ahead and throw in some dialogue regarding hashtags, as well. You will have their brain spinning.
- Be super needy. Yep. Call on them for your every need, want, and whim. Oh, your blanket is not covering your pinky toe? “Grandma!” Oh, you can’t reach the tissues? “Grandma!” Oh, you have an itch? “Grandma!”
- Keep changing your mind — over and over and over and over and over again. And, if your mind changes can have your grandparent moving back and forth from one spot to another, that’s even better.
- Ask to call your parents. Your grandparents will want to honor your wishes, but they will also want to give your parents a break. They will be torn and that will emotionally drain them.
- Misbehave some. Most grandparents do not like to discipline. Misbehave just enough that they will have to raise their voice towards you and intervene in order to keep you safe, as well as keep their house in one piece. This again will give them a ride on the emotional rollercoaster.
- Manage to get some bumps and bruises. Your grandparent will consider throwing in the towel, fearing that your parents will be upset that you got hurt on their watch. How in the world could they let that happen?
- Never give up. If you really want to wear out a grandparent you must remain consistent and persistent.
Well there you go, your tips on how to successfully wear out your grandparent. Truth is though, these probably won’t work. Unfortunately, the experimental research that I conducted observing my own children with their grandparents kind of blows my suggestions out of the water. Yep. Truth is, grandparents are made of warmth, kindness, laughter, and unconditional love, and it’s nearly impossible to wear them down. Sorry about your luck.
Grandma and Grandpa just not wearing down? How about you throw in the white towel, sit down, and read some of these with them:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR – NICOLE MERRITT
Nicole Merritt is a mother of three and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole’s work has been featured by Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, BLUNTmoms, Thought Catalog, Everyday Family, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe and on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!