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Posted on March 1, 2018 by Christine Crosby in aging with humor, comedy, George Carlin

George Carlin’s Views on Aging


George Carlin’s Views on Aging – Submitted by Charlie Palmer – Lake Mary, Florida

(If you have a fun quote/story/inspiration you’d like to share, please send to us at editor@grandmagazine.com). Thanks!

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five. That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16. You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonnabe16. And then the greatest day of your life…you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You become 21. Yessss!

But then you turn 30.  Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You become 21, you turn 30, then you’re pushing 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50, and your dreams are gone.

But! wait! You make it to 60 You didn’t think you would!

So you become 21, turn 30; push 40, reach 50, and make it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you hit 70. After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you hit Wednesday.

You get into your 80’s, and every day is a complete cycle; you hit lunch; you turn 4:30; you reach bedtime And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backward; I was just  92.

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. I’m 100 and a half.

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!

George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Wikipedia

DiedJune 22, 2008, Santa Monica, CA
SpouseSally Wade (m. 1998–2008), Brenda Hosbrook (m. 1961–1997)
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Christine Crosby

About the author

Christine is the co-founder and editorial director for GRAND Magazine. She is the grandmother of five and great-grandmom (aka Grandmere) to one. She makes her home in St. Petersburg, Florida.

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