Maternity Wear For Gigi
By Anne Bardsley
Not again! I admit I added a few curse words in there. My husband, bless his heart, cleaned our guest room while I was away. He left some clothes for me to look at before he threw them out. That is a miracle. He usually stuffs things into trash bags and they’re gone before I know it. This time I lucked out.
My daughter stayed in our guest room a few months ago and left a few things. One was a great sundress. It’s black with white embroidery. The fabric is a little stretchy, yet it flows. I love this dress! I thought it would never fit because she is sizes smaller than me. I am not revealing my size. My age is one thing. Size is totally a secret.
Throwing my self- esteem to the wind, I slipped the dress over my head. I could feel the stretchy fabric glide down over my body. It fit perfectly!!! It was a miracle. I must have lost some weight. I was so excited when I modeled for my husband. “That’s a great dress on you!” he agreed. I spun around to show him how it flows.
He was on Face Time with my grandsons talking about what else, but hockey. Five-year-old, Arlo, was showing his new shot. Almost two-year-old River was putting on his hockey gear. I could see my daughter’s kitchen in the background. There were hockey nets set up, sticks galore on the floor, and slippery socks to make the wood floor slippery like an ice rink. River was already shouting,” Score!” as he climbed into his hockey pants. All his new words referred to hockey: glove, rink, Zamboni, shoot, penalty, boards, icing.
I passed by his phone and my daughter caught a glimpse of me. “Back up the phone Dad,” she said. “Let me see Mom.” I thought it was sweet she wanted to see me during hockey world.
“Are you wearing my black embroidered sundress?” she asked.
“Yes! You left it here and it fits me perfectly.” I replied.
She giggled. “Did you check the tag? It’s maternity!” she laughed out loud this time.
“It can’t be! It fits me so nice!” I made a mental note to rip that damn tag out.
“Didn’t you buy a maternity bathing suit once by mistake?” Did she really need to remind me of my mistakes?
“I thought it was a sundress/ bathing suit combo, remember? That’s why it flowed so nice.”
“Mom you and this flowing thing need help.”
In my defense, I was in Target when I spotted a perfect bathing suit. It had a halter top with a silver jewel to keep my chest held high. In addition, it had a mid-thigh skirt that flowed (OK, maybe I do have a flowing issue) when I swung my hips. I imagined myself dancing at a beach bar swinging my hips. It would be perfect with my tan!
I modeled that one for my husband too. He agreed. Best suit ever! When I went to hang it in my closet, I saw it! Maternity by Karen was on the tag in fancy letters. I guess that was supposed to make me feel special that the words flowed (that damn word again!!) so beautifully.
I neglected to notice the netting under the suit which made room for a fourteen-pound baby or in my case three beach towels, a bottle of wine and plastic glasses.
Come on, don’t pretend you wouldn’t have snuck the wine in too. This was not a good news kind of suit. But I loved it anyway. I wore it to the beach. I wore it to dinner at sunset. I wore it anytime I didn’t feel like holding my stomach in. Honestly it could have bought one for each day of the week, but my husband disagreed. “But I could get it in red, blue, green, tan, orange and camo,” I professed. He gave his eye roll that screams, “You’re spending money again! And I thought you were trying to lose weight.”
He was right. I have been moaning and groaning about losing weight. My brains has been planted in the petite department where all the cute clothes are. Now it seems I’m graduating to the maternity department.
Mental Note to self: Anne, check tags and get out of the petite and maternity departments.
This just might give me the post- menopausal blues.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR – ANNE BARDSLEY
Anne is a wife, mom of five, Gigi to four, a friend, a sister, a sunset watcher, and my hips move whenever. She has . I’ve been married for thirty nine years to Scott.. He was part of the inspiration for her first book, How I Earned My Wrinkles…Musings on Marriage, Motherhood and Menopause. Angel Bumps, Hello From Heaven, and she is a Chicken Soup Grandparents contributor. Visit her www.annebardsley.com