The Sexy Senior Years – Are These Your Sexy Years?
Contributed by Barbara McNally
There’s straight sex, gay-sex, group sex, bi-sex and tri-sex (I’ll try anything sex).
But let’s go for the ultimate in the closet taboo: Senior Sex! Can you think of a better example of the perfect oxymoron?
Our society is now accepting gay couples, but how do you feel about the subject of parental sex? Let alone grandma and grandpa?
We can be Fabulous at 50, sexy at 60, sensational at seventy, excellent at 80! Studies show that over 50% of senior citizens are sexually active.
Older people can and should have sex and any idea that they don’t is a misconception.
Here are 6 ways sexuality is alive and well in our silver years:
Some put the “spice” in hospice. My dad’s girlfriend shared that when he was placed on hospice, he made love to her before hospice and my sisters arrived. Sex is correlated with liberation, vitality, and vigor and we all want to hang on to this part of ourselves as long as possible.
The mind is the major sex organ. If only the Playboy and G.Q. centerfolds had sex, very few people would be engaging. But since sexuality is in our mind, we can all tap into a sensual and playful role at any age. We don’t stop playing when we get old; we get old because we stop playing.
Case in point: This photo of my Grandma, her boyfriend snapped in her swinging seventies. She was not only sexual through her 80’s, but she was also a strong, independent, and spiritual sage.
Age is in our mind and this is majorly reflected in our sexual attitude. Some people are old at 20 and others are young at 80. “Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.“ – Sophia Loren.
The need for intimacy and contact with another person doesn’t change with age. It’s a human instinct. And guess what? It’s happening all around us. Viagra is a multi-million-dollar company because it is fueled by men over 50 using its “enhancing” powers. There is a possibility that your elderly grocery clerk is getting more action than you! Don’t let the soft voice and sweet smile fool you. You are never too old for a little or a lot of intimacy.
Healthy sex for older as well as younger adults means generally better health. It helps their immune system, blood pressure, bladder control, heart attack risk AND counts as exercise. Just what the doctor ordered apparently.
The dating game is still alive and well –online dating sites for seniors has become a booming market. There are just as many opportunities for someone in their senior years to meet ‘that special someone’ (or ‘that special one-night’) than the rest of us!
So, can you enjoy sex without shame as you age? The answer seems to be YES. The older you get, the less you care what people think of you. This goes for any conquests or intimate endeavors, especially. Senior centers and over-55 Gated Communities are havens for this type of activity. Think “Melrose Place” with grandparents. It’s become so Spring Break-like that the medical community has even started making PSA’s around senior STD risks. Without the concern about a potential pregnancy, many postmenopausal women find they enjoy sex more, thus do it more frequently, and thanks to Viagra, senior men can deliver those frequent needs.
There are even sexual position books designed for adults with arthritis, back pain, or other conditions.
Some quotes from some of our favorite naughty seniors:
”I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.” – Jean Harlow
Or as May West said, “I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a lot.”
The reality of the situation is this, if we are lucky, we will ALL one day be “old”. While we may not want to make it our next dinner conversation, at least stretch your thinking to be “ok” with the idea of senior sex. You once thought kissing was “gross” when you were younger and discovered just how wrong you were later, right?
After all, if the good die young, there’s a whole lot of “bad” to take advantage of.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Barbara McNally is a physical therapist, author and founded the Barbara McNally Foundation, inspired by firsthand accounts of a woman thrust into the role of caregiver when their spouses return from the battlefield with major wounds. The foundation offers seminars, scholarships, and workshops dedicated to enhancing the lives of women. Her upcoming book, Four Faces of Femininity, launches April 2020 and features the inspiring stories of 43 women who have shaped history as a mother, lover, warrior, or sage.