My Very Last Colonoscopy
BY RICHARD J. ANTHONY, SR.
Because of my age, hypertension, and history of cardiovascular disease, my gastrologist was reluctant to schedule a colonoscopy to get to the root cause(s) of my intestinal discomfort. But when medications failed and my dyspepsia worsened, he finally said, “ We’d better get in there to see what’s going on.” It was the editorial “we”
In the back of my mind, I’m thinking colon cancer. This fear impelled me to agree to take the risk of 30 minutes of anesthesia and potential problems traversing about six feet of intestines that probably weren’t the pathways of elasticity they were as a younger man.
“The whole experience was much less traumatic than the days of anticipation – of not knowing what to expect or the outcome.”
Since I was also being treated for persistent reflux, I went for the north and south twofer special: an endoscopy and a colonoscopy.
My previous colonoscopy was about eight years prior. So, I was sure that this one would be less traumatic with all the advances in medicine. My hopes were dashed when I received the prep instructions a week before my scheduled procedures. The list of cleanout products was daunting:
- 64oz of sugarless Gatorade or a similar electrolyte beverage
- 3oz (a whole bottle) of Miralax
- Dulcolax Overnight Laxative Tablets (4)
Since neither MiraLax nor a high-powered prescription laxative had been effective in relieving my discomfort up to now, I was skeptical. The trick this time was the equivalent of pushing a compound of gunpowder down the barrel of a cannon and lighting the fuse. The two days preceding the launch were terrible. No solid food, followed by no food, interspersed with precisely mixed doses ingested at intervals that guaranteed little or no sleep the night before the south procedure.
My gastrologist is terrific. Very attentive and empathetic, and he returns phone calls. Although he said he didn’t think I had cancer, he didn’t dismiss the possibility. That made me anxious. The prospect of living with a colostomy bag was unnerving. I had family and friends who braved it. In a couple of cases, physicians could reconnect the severed parts of the colon, relieving the patients of needing the bag. I can only imagine their joy.
That was my state of mind when I arrived at the facility where they average 40 endoscopies and colonoscopies a day. I arrived at 1:15 PM for the intake process, was rolled into the room at 2 PM, and was on my way home before 3:30 PM. The facility was spotless, as you would have hoped. The nursing staff was pleasant and efficient. The whole experience was much less traumatic than the days of anticipation – of not knowing what to expect or the outcome.
As soon as I came out of the anesthesia, my doctor was at my side with good news: no cancer, no obstructions, no problems with my esophagus. And a bonus. He had cauterized a small tear in a blood vessel that may have contributed to my anemia, for which I had received an iron infusion the week before. But that’s another story.
At 87, I don’t think I’ll be having another colonoscopy. Possibly an endoscopy. But that wouldn’t require large doses of gunpowder.
Editor’s Note: What you need to know about a colonoscopy.
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