Don’t Kiss the Baby
BY Kathleen Gaither, BSN, RN
Are you navigating the “Don’t Kiss the Baby” era of grandparenting? Many parents of newborns are setting firmer boundaries these days—particularly the “no kissing” rule during cold and flu season, as well as RSV season. While these precautions are understandable, there’s a lesser-known virus that poses a year-round risk to infants, even though it rarely crosses our minds.
Herpes Simplex Virus
You might be surprised to encounter a discussion about herpes in a grandparenting magazine. Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is a common, lifelong infection that causes painful blisters or ulcers and spreads through skin-to-skin contact. There are two types: HSV-1, which typically causes cold sores (also called fever blisters), and HSV-2, which is usually associated with genital herpes—though both types can affect the mouth and genitals.
What Are Cold Sores?
Cold sores are tiny, fluid-filled blisters that appear on and around the lips, often clustered in patches. The virus can affect the mouth, throat, eyes, and genitals. HSV remains dormant in nerve cells and reactivates in response to triggers such as illness, stress, sun exposure, trauma to the mouth area, or hormonal changes. Although HSV is incurable, antivirals and other medications can help manage symptoms and reduce the frequency and duration of outbreaks.
Sharing Is Not Caring When It Comes to HSV
Oral HSV spreads through close contact, including kissing, sharing eating utensils (straws, forks, spoons), or lip products (lipstick, lip balm, gloss). Viral transmission occurs through direct contact with an infected person’s saliva or active skin lesions. A person is contagious from the first signs of cold sore formation—tingling, itching, crusting, drainage, or burning—until the sore is completely healed. According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Cold sores are most infectious within 24 hours of when they first form.”
It’s Not “Just” a Cold Sore
Neonatal herpes is an HSV infection that sometimes develops in infants less than 6 weeks old, when their immune systems are still developing. For these babies, HSV is much more than just cold sores; it can, unfortunately, be life-threatening. Newborns may experience three types of neonatal herpes: skin, eye, and mouth disease (SEM disease), brain disease (CNS disease), or disseminated disease (affecting multiple areas). Even with antiviral treatment, a study published in January 2023 indicated that 50.7% of children with neurological involvement may develop disabilities classified into five groups: seizures, motor disabilities, visual impairment, mental disabilities, among others. Thoughtful caution can go a long way in protecting little ones.
How to Keep Herpes to Yourself
- Admire babies lovingly from a safe distance
- Don’t kiss babies on the face, lips, or hands
- Never put a baby’s pacifier or bottle in your mouth
- Avoid sharing eating utensils, straws, or drinks with babies
- Keep sores covered with bandages and ointment
Supporting Your Family with Knowledge
Understanding these risks doesn’t create tension with your grandchild’s parents—it demonstrates that you’re a trusted partner in their child’s health and safety. By respecting these boundaries and educating yourself about infant health risks, you’re showing the kind of thoughtful, informed grandparenting that strengthens family bonds.
For more information about HSV and protecting newborns, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.gov) or the American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org). Your pediatrician can also provide guidance specific to your family’s situation. When it comes to keeping our grandbabies safe, knowledge truly is power—and love expressed through caution is love at its finest.
