Most country-club homes are sold to the two people signing the contract. However, if you are going to spend your 60s and 70s somewhere new, plan it around the people you most want walking through the front door, and for many of us, that is a nine-year-old with a swimsuit on under her clothes.
Grandparents already travel this way. An AARP article from April 2019, reporting on AARP Research’s Grandparents Today survey, found that about 40% of grandparents said they travel with their grandchildren, and about one-third had taken them on a skip-gen trip with no parents. Those trips have to go somewhere. Your new address can be the destination if you choose it with that in mind.
Read the Fine Print First
Plenty of clubs sell a membership to a couple and treat everyone else as a guest. That works until your daughter’s family arrives for spring break and you learn how guest access really works. Ask the membership office some blunt questions:
- Which relatives count as family under the membership?
- Do grandchildren qualify at every age?
- Can a grandchild use the pool without you standing beside them?
- Is there a cap on how often the same guest can visit?
- What does a week with a family of four actually cost in guest fees?
Andalusia Country Club in La Quinta, California is a useful place to start, because the club says all of its memberships are Family Memberships, and guests are welcome when accompanied by a member. About 10 minutes with this La Quinta club’s membership options will sharpen what you ask any sales office, because you can see how one club lays out its tiers on paper before you sit across from a salesperson somewhere else.
The Pool May Decide Whether They Come Back
Grandparents talk about the golf course, but grandchildren remember the pool. If the only pool is an adults-only lap pool, the kids will spend the visit on a tablet in your guest room, and you will hear about it.
Look for a real outdoor pool with room for cannonballs, then look at the social calendar. A club that puts kids’ parties on the same calendar as its wine dinners is telling you children are expected on the property. Andalusia lists kids’ parties alongside yoga on the lawn and art classes. The mix matters more than any single event.
GRAND has covered how to set your own house up for a weekend with the grandkids. Apply the same eye to the clubhouse. Andalusia’s casual dining spot is its Tapas Restaurant, which is a good starting point for the questions that matter with children in tow. Are kids welcome there, and at what hours? Is there a dress code, and will anything on the menu suit a six-year-old? Get the answers in writing before you buy, at any club.
Check the Court Rules
A pickleball court may be easier to use together during a short family visit than an 18-hole course. Andalusia lists pickleball mixers on its social calendar. Ask whether visiting family can join scheduled play or reserve a court; the answer matters more than seeing pickleball on the amenity list.
Casitas and the Bike Test
Two things get overlooked during a model-home tour. The first is where everyone sleeps. A floor plan with a detached casita or a separate guest wing means your son-in-law gets a door he can close, which is the difference between a four-day visit and a ten-day one. Andalusia says its lots, some of the deepest in the desert, leave room for casitas and courtyards. That detail is worth asking about anywhere.
The second is what I call the bike test. Can a 10-year-old ride from your driveway to the pool without crossing a road you would worry about? Andalusia sits at the base of the Santa Rosa and Coral Mountains and puts hiking and biking on its activity list. Ask where those routes actually start, and whether a child can reach them safely.
Something to Do off the Property by Day Three
Every visit hits a wall around day three, when someone asks what else there is. This is where location earns its keep. La Quinta sits in the Coachella Valley southeast of Palm Springs, and the BNP Paribas Open is held each March at the Indian Wells Tennis Garden in neighboring Indian Wells, a legitimate outing for a tennis-mad teenager.
The valley’s season runs roughly November through April, and summers routinely pass 110 degrees. A July visit will be a pool visit. If the grandkids are only free in summer, weigh that against a mountain or lake community where August is the good month.
The Middle Generation Holds the Veto
None of this happens without the parents saying yes, and they are juggling work calendars and school schedules. Make it easy for them and choose a place where your adult children can work from a quiet corner in the morning and hand the kids to you by lunch, and you will see them far more often than the family who bought the prettiest view.
GRAND’s piece on creating memories with grandchildren makes the point that children remember being listened to more than the activity itself. The amenities just buy you the hours. And if distance is already a strain, the magazine’s advice on long-distance grandparenting still applies. A great pool does not replace a Tuesday phone call. It does give the call something to look forward to.
The test I would apply to any brochure is simple. Picture a Saturday in March with three generations on the property. If you cannot see where each of them is at two in the afternoon, keep looking.
